Captain Moogie


I am 28
I have 2 Kids
Kaylee: Is 6 and awesome and extremely smart and likes to design costumes
Zoey:3 and a psycho

I like to draw and I like to watch horror movies.. I hate drunk people.. Casual drinking is okay but straight out drunk no.
I am in school for culinary!

tarklovishki:

ankle-deep-in-seawater:

i-fell-in-love-with-donnie-darko:

goodbyecharmcity:

mortuus-lamia:

Amazing photos!

the past was fucked up

the present ain’t too much better

"Hey Harold, I made this cool vest, I think it’ll fit you!"

"Oh neat! *puts on vest* how’s it look?"

"That looks fantastic! Go stand by the hedges, I’ll take a picture!"

"Okay! wait, that’s not a camera, that’s a whAT THE FU—"

*BAM*

"Hey Harold. Hey, Harold? You okay, buddy?"

"ifckinhateyu"

"HEY JOHNNY, YOU OWE ME A FIVER"

"Hey, what are you doing?"

"Just caSUALLY STICKING MY 2 YEAR OLD CHILD OUT OF A THIRD STOREY WINDOW BECAUSE IT NEEDS SUNLIGHT TO GROW."

What?”

"My child is a plant."

Actually they used the window catches for the moms who had apartments and couldn’t get out much. AND midwifes used them for babies with jaundice most of the time, because back then parents would literally leave their children out in strollers and go back in the house to do chores with out worrying about the baby

Source: mortuus-lamia

There is 2 kinds of people

mydrunkkitchen:

asongofdirewolvesanddragons:

  • people who watched MTV movie Awards
  • #VoteKatniss
  • #VoteTris
people who watched Game of Thrones

image

Accurate

D: wait joffery finally died? D: SPOILERS TUMBLR! DAMN IT

Source: asongofdirewolvesanddragons

megaloo:

#KAYLEE ILU #i could write essays on how great kaylee is and how her love of frilly dresses and strawberries and engines and sex are all totally compatible and awesome #no wrong way to be a girl

#the women of firefly are so perfect #river: frail unstable genius girl WHO KICKS YOUR ASS #inara; the ‘whore’ who flips on edge everything most’d normally think about a whore and is beautiful inside and out #zoe: fierce warrior and soldier who wants to be a mother someday #WHERE ARE YOUR LADY TROPE GODS NOW???

those hashtags are why I named my daughters after these girls I love them so much

Source: prodigal-rhapsody

phantasticphil:

meetmeincalifornia:

.. My father took a selfie with Dan and Phil.. This is my family

dan is just so fucking done oh my god 

He isn’t done, that’s his everyday face. He has resting bitch face syndrome.

phantasticphil:

meetmeincalifornia:

.. My father took a selfie with Dan and Phil.. This is my family

dan is just so fucking done oh my god 

He isn’t done, that’s his everyday face. He has resting bitch face syndrome.

Source: meetmeincalifornia

Princess jelly fish EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Source: medatsugoodies

snails-and-swans:

huffingtonpost:

My Beautiful Woman based on a true story. 

Think twice before you judge a parent. 

I watched this at work thinking it wasn’t going to be so sad.

Oh buddy was I wrong.

Damn it tumblr my female hormones overloaded.

Source: huffingtonpost

newkidzonthecock:

i will commit a million crimes until he arrests me.

Lets grand theft where he works so he has to arrest us and make him touch our boobs on mistake.

Source: adoradordepelos

sisterofasnowqueen:

kellycuppycake:

Disney princesses meeting their princes for the first time.

it progressively gets more awkward each movie

More Awkward? More accurate! I meet my prince at Mcdonalds applying for a job. He asked me I was applying and I said something along the lines of Nope just here to request hours for money….  I hooked him LOL. 2004-2014 <3 still going strong.

Source: kellycuppycake

Kaylee discovered gravity falls and loves mabel so much she draws her all the time. The other day she had a stuffed big and was all MABEL LOVES YOU and smushing his face.

Source: grunclestans

ninasaurio:

0negirlarmy:

GOD LOOK AT THIS PERFECTION

now THIS IS HOW LIVE ACTION ADAPTATIONS ARE SUPPOSED TO LOOK

I’M TALKING TO YOU M NIGHT SHALAYAMANANA

Shalayamanana…. Reblogging just for that.

Source: teenagers-life-dreams